While the physical distance from Turbotville, Pennsylvania to my employer’s headquarters in Philadelphia is less than 200 miles, my journey to arrive from the first to the second might as well have been worlds apart. As a young boy growing up gay on a farm in a conservative Mennonite community, I certainly didn’t think that my future would include being happily married, living with my husband and our dog at the Jersey shore, and being promoted to Vice President of North American Sales for a software company. Honestly, if you would told me—that young, closeted, Mennonite boy—that one day he would find and build the life he has today, I wouldn’t have believed you. But the path I traveled holds three important lessons.

Challenges can shape you

Uncertainty has been a recurring theme. My early life was very sheltered. My siblings and I were homeschooled and didn’t have modern electronics until much later in life. I didn’t even know the terminology around being gay. I’d pray for it to change —that I would wake up and be different the next day. I was so afraid that someone would discover my secret. Meanwhile, my mother was battling through cancer, and after several years she passed away around the time I was in ninth grade. My father remarried several years later, and we moved to South Carolina.

While that was an isolating and confusing time for me, it was also a turning point in my life. My father and stepmother first sent me to a private Christian school, then to public high school in an effort to prepare me for college. I was accepted to the business school at the University of South Carolina, where I studied finance. My early life wasn’t easy, but my experiences taught me to be adaptable, navigate challenges, and persevere through obstacles.

Believe in yourself

I landed my first sales job with no sales experience. I was working as a senior analyst at a medical software company and landed an interview with Odessa, a global provider of lease and loan accounting software. As I  interviewed with the late Jim Humphrey, I highlighted my people skills, grit, and determination and shared how working at a fine dining restaurant while I was in college had given me relevant experience. Jim saw something in me and offered me an entry level business development role.

I just needed somebody to take a chance on me in that role, and he did, so I’m forever grateful and indebted to Jim. I strive to carry on  his legacy, and I hope that I make him proud. I also think this is a good reminder to keep an open mind when looking for new talent.

Connections can be life-changing

Industry conferences and events have been pivotal in my career advancement. Because of my role and the importance of building relationships, Odessa enabled and supported me to go to events from the start. I went to ELFA’s annual convention about a year after I was hired. Suddenly, all of those people I was emailing and calling were right there in one place. I was able to begin building relationships and that proved invaluable throughout my career.

I’m the immediate past Chair of the Inclusion Engagement and Resources Subcommittee. Getting involved, volunteering, and supporting our association and this industry are so helpful to career progression. It’s also important to have a sponsor at the executive level—someone who’s going to bring up your name in a room where promotions or valuable players are being discussed. Those people can help pull you up in ways you may not even realize. Find ways to build a network around you, both in your organizations and throughout the industry.

Persisting through challenges, believing in yourself, and fostering strong, authentic connections, have all been important skills in my work and life. As the industry seeks to attract and foster new talent, these lessons feel more important than ever.